00Santa returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit..?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all"..?
Librarian: So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory..
English |
10What is a PJ, someone asked Santa .
Santa replied, "When you see too many pizzas,
you call them PeeJe.."
English |
20A Chinese was in a hospital.
Santa went to meet him.
Chinese said CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA & died.
Santa went china to know the meaning, that was:
You are standing on the Oxygen pipe..
English |
00Santa proposed a girl.......
Girl: I am one year elder to u.
Santa : Oye, no problem sohniye, I will marry u next year.
English
00Santa 's boss asked him.
Santa : How can you possibly manage
to make so many mistakes in one day?
Santa : I get up very early, Sir.
English
10Santa : Hello, Apollo Hospital.. My friend Banta has got an Hear Attack.
Receptionist: Sir, what's your location.
Santa : Chandni Chowk, near Sunehri Masjid .
Receptionist: Can you spell that..?
Santa : After a pause, How about I take him to India Gate and
you can pick him from there..?
English |
01Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..
Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.
Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.
Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.
English |
10Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.
Hindi
20Santa : Kal mittra ne kudiya de college di bus rok layi..
Banta: Fer..?
Santa : .......fer ki, Aapa keha chabeel laggi aa pani pee k jaeo g.
Punjabi |
20Teacher: If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: Oh! Listen carefully.
If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: Ok. Let me ask you
If I give you two chocolates, and two chocolates and two more chocolates then
how many chocolates you will be having..?
Santa : Six.
Teacher: Good. Now tell me
If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits and two more rabbits then
how many rabbits you will be having..?
Santa : Seven.
Teacher: How is that..?
Santa : I am already having one at home.
English |
00Santa was putting his head in a water tub.
Banta: What are you doing..?
Santa : It's not working
I am checking Puncture..
English |
00Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes.
He got irritated..
drank poison and said
Now bite, u'll die bastards..
English
♥ Recommended for You »
- Ishq Mein Ye Anjaam Paaya Hai Haath Paer Toote Muh Se ..
- A Mediterranean Style Diet Includes Lots Of Fruits Vegetables Whole Grains ..
- The More You Know The Less You Understand Lao Tzu ..
- A Woman Was Telling Her Friend I Made My Husband ..
- Bachelors Should Be Heavily Taxed It Is Not Fair That Some ..
- Alcohol And Calculus Don T Mix Never Drink And Derive ..
- Chalo So Jaate Hain Ab Phir Kisi Sach Ki Talaash ..
- Rishton Ki Ehmiyat Bataate Hain Faasle Par Thoda Tadpaate Hain Faasle Bas ..
- Nobody Teaches The Sun To Rise A River To Flow A Fish ..
- PNR Status Check Santa How Can I Check Pnr Status ? Banta Hold ..
लाल बूढ़क्की छू..
anagram quiz
About Us
Our logo expands to iOLdot - Ik Oankaar Lazeez Dimension of Texting which tries to reflect our ideology.
The purpose of this website is to develop a Dimension to Texting through the Aesthetics of Words by providing Unique, Decent, Pleasant, Pure, Gentle, Clean, Refined, Inoffensive Thought Provoking Wisdom Quotes, Funny Jokes, Shayari, Motivational SMS, Greetings, Wishes, Proverbs, Dohe, Love Messages & much more.. We also encourage you to be part of this journey & share your creative content with us. Play your flute here..
What's more
Quality Improvement Initiative
On September 13, 2015 we took an initiative towards delivering high quality content. With every Lazeez SMS you will find two thumbs - one for upvote and one to downvote.
You can cast your vote simply by clicking on the thumb icon.