Santa Quotes

A real story from Konni, Pathanamthitta, Kerala:
A BPL family got water connection. Everyone was happy . The tap never gave any water after initial testing but after 3-4 months a bill of Rs. 480/- came in June 2024. The poor widow lady went to the local water office to complain that she had received a water bill showing meter reading zero. She also told authorities that being a BPL family she was told that no water bill will come.

The officials told her that her connection is yet to be converted to BPL and thus she has to pay the bill. They told that the connection will be converted to BPL in January 2025. Further, they directed her to an engineer. The engineer confirmed that as the water tank is still under construction so no water has been supplied to her as reflected in zero meter reading.

The lady asked them that she wants to surrender the water connection to which the officials told her that then she needs to pay panchayat penalty for agreeing to a water connection and then surrendering it. They told her that they will temporarily disconnect the connection but in case the meter reading will reflect any usage then she will face water theft charges.

Har Ghar Jal or Har Ghar Bill?
#HarGharJal #JalJeevanMission #jalshaktiabhiyan #jalshakti

Santa & Banta Safar Te Ja Rahe See,
Raste Wichoh Raat Ho Gayi
Te Oh Tent Laga Ke So Gaye,
Raat Nu Banta Di Akh Khuli
Ohne Santa Nu Jaga Ke Kiha
Asman Wal Dekh Ke Dass Tainu Ki Nazar Aa Riha Hai
Santa Boliya Bhut Sare Sittare
Banta Is To Ki Patta Lagda Hai
Santa : Assman Bhut Hi Khubsurat Hai Te Roshni B Hai
Banta: Oye Kanjra, Koi Sada Tent Putt Ke Lai Gya Hai..

The bank sends santa a mail - Your payments are outstanding.
santa replies - Thanks for the compliment.

A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..

Couple in theatre:
Husband : Darling, mujhe to tumhaari aatma se pyaar hai,
tumhaara jism to main kutton ko daal dun!!
Santa sitting on back seat: BHOW BHOW..BHOW BHOW..

Santa went to a radio shop and started shouting,
Kamino maine PHILIPS ka radio maanga tha,
aur isko on kiya to yeh bolta hai ki,
yeh All India Radio hai..

Santa mango juice ka glass le k baitha tha.
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pi gya.
Santa : Meri to yar kismat hi kharaab hai.
Banta: Kyon, kya hua?
Beta fail ho gya.
Biwi dost k saath bhag gyi,
Ghar mein chori ho gye,
Nal mein pani nahi,
Ghar mein light nahi,
Ab juice me Zehar daal k peene ko rakha tha,
aur WO BHI TU PI gaya.