Santa Ek Jyotish Ke Paas Kundali (horoscope) Dikhaane Gaya. Jyotish: Tera Quotes

Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..

Santa da puttar - Phapaji eh Family Tree ki hunda hai?
Santa - Oye khote deya puttara,
Family Tree is just like Family Field,
jinve monty da khet, chedi di chapadee,
bhajane di keekar, mangu di beri etc. etc.

A Sardaar made a call to airport and
asked how long is the journey
from Punjab to America..
Receptionist: One second, sir.....
Sardaar: Thank you.

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

Preetoji to Santa - Honey,
you don't give any time to kids.

And the next day..
Santa gave each of his kids a new Watch..

Banta and his wife waiting for the train..
itne mein Punjab Mail aayi.
Banta bhaag kar train mein chadtaa hai and says to her wife
Jab Punjab Female aaye tab tu bhi aa jaana.

The bank sends santa a mail - Your payments are outstanding.
santa replies - Thanks for the compliment.