00After boarding AC Double Decker Express train Santa exclaimed,
Paise bachaane ke liye dekho
ek train ke upar
doosri train rakh kar chalaa rahe hain.
Banta: Oh nahi yaar,
upar waali train mein petrol khatam ho gaya hoga..
Hindi |
41संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..
Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..
Hindi |
00Judge: why are you arrested..?
Santa : For shopping early.
Judge: Well, that’s not a crime,
anyway how early were you shopping?
Santa : Before opening the shop.
English |
22Muderer: Try karna umar-kaid ho, Faansi na ho.
Santa : Don't worry. Case poora apne haath mein hai.
After Court.
Muderer: Kya hua..?
Santa : Bahut mushkil se umar-kaid karwaai hai,
Adaalat to riha kar rahi thi.
Hindi |
11Girl: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach ?
Santa : I can eat 6 apples
Girl : you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz
when you eat the 2nd apple tht's not an empty stomach..
Santa : Wow super joke I'l tell my friend ..
Santa to friend : how many apples you can eat on an empty stomach..?
friend : I can eat 10
Santa : Pagal.. 6 bolta to mast joke sunata..
Hindi |
00Santa ki ladaai apne baapu se ho gayi
to usne apne baapu ki photo kabristan me ek ped pe latka dee
aur niche likha “Coming Soon”..
Hindi |
01Ek Buddhi ne ATM ke pas Santa se kaha:
Beta mera Balance check kar do.
Santa ne Buddhi ko Dhakka de diya,
Buddhi gir gayi.
Santa : Tumhara balance kharab hai.
Hindi |
41Santa apni beti ke liye 24 saal ka ladka dekhne Delhi gayaa.
Wahaan se biwi ko phone karta hai:
"Oh bai toni di mummy,
24 da te koi ni milyeaa,
12-12 de hi do labh laan."
Punjabi
00Santa calls up White Huose.
Santa : I want to be the next President of USA.
Obama: Are you mad..?
Santa : Why? Is it compulsory..?
English |
30Santa talking on cell.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa : Biwi se.
Banta: Itne pyaar se.
Santa : Tumhaari hai na!
Hindi
51Hindi teacher asks Santa : Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain?
Santa : O G 7 prakaar ke -
1. Local kaal
2. STD kaal
3. ISD kaal
4. Missed kaal
5. Received kaal
6. Dialled kaal aur
7. Sat Sri Akal
Punjabi |
30A sardaar prays daily for two hours:
Hey Waheguru, meri lottery lagaa davo.
After 11 years Waheguru angrily appears and says:
Oye Khoteyaa, ik vaari ticket taan lae..
Punjabi
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