Santa Standing On A Platform, Suddenly Jumps On Railway Track. A Quotes

Santa standing on a platform, suddenly jumps on railway track.
A man shouts Sardaarji mar jaaoge.
Santa : Maregaa to tu saale,
suna nahin train platform no. 1 par aa rahi hai.

Santa and Banta bought a horse each.
Santa : How will we know which is your & which is mine?
Banta: Easy, I'll cut mine's tail, yours will be the one with tail.

This was heard by a few boys, they cut the other's tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
Banta: Don't worry, I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell.

The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Banta got frustrated & said
"Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine."

Someone asks Santa : What is the meaning of
मन्नू भाई मोटर चली पम - पम - पम ..?

Details:
Santa : It means motor is faulty
रुक - रुक कर चलती है ..

Teacher: How many planets are there?
Santa : Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, ...wagerah...wagerah...
Teacher: Aur batao?
Santa : Aur bas sab badhiya! Mata rani ki kirpa hai. Aap sunao.

Santa was experimenting with a cockroach.
He cut one of his legs and told it to walk.
The cockroach began moving slowly.
He continued till all legs were cut.
Then he told it to walk, but it didn't move.
So he wrote the inference:
If all the legs of a cockroach were cut,
it loses it's ability to hear.

The bank sends santa a mail - Your payments are outstanding.
santa replies - Thanks for the compliment.

Santa was eating banana without peeling.
Someone asked why don't you peel and eat.
Santa : It's not required as i know what's inside.