Investment Returns In One Year: Gold 28%, Silver 80%, Crude 40%, Sensex 35% & ONION 880%, Kaash.. Ek Quotes

Investment returns in one year:
Gold 28%,
Silver 80%,
Crude 40%,
Sensex 35%
&
ONION 880%,
Kaash..
Ek Lakh ke Pyaaz liye hote
to NEW YEAR ke liye Europe me hota..

Ek baba roz gurdware kirtan krda c,
Roz ek budhi lal suit pa ke aundi c,
Baba us nu pyaar krda c.
Ek din oh budhi nahi aayi
te baba kirtan krda kenda "sab sangta ayiea gi saade LAL nazar nai aaunde"
ose wele oh budhi HARA suit pa ke a jandi e.
Baba bolan lag pya 'mann shetal ho gya gi vekh k sangta Harian-bharian..

Papa beti se:
Beti, pehle to tum mujhe Papa kehti thi,
lekin ab Dad kehti ho, kyon?
Beti: Oh Dad, Papa kehne se
Lip-stick kharaab ho jaati hai.

संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..

Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..

Doctor (at door, to butler): Tell your master the doctor is here.
Butler: The master is in great pain, sir. He is receiving nobody.

Ek aadmi kabr par baitha tha.
Musaafir ne poocha darr nahi lagtaa..?
Aadmi: Darne ki kya baat hai..?
Ander garmi lag rahi thi..to baahar aa gaya.

Ghasita Hawaldar:Tujhe apna Laptop bada karwana hai..?
Santa : Haanji, but kaise..?
Ghasita Hawaldar: Oh ji very simple,
isme se window nikaal te darvaaja fit kara le..