A Man And A Woman Were Fighting On A Railway Station. The Quotes

A man and a woman were fighting
on a railway station.
The lady: Ye jhaadoo dekhi hai,
ek doongi aur seedha canada pahunchega.
Santa , who was just passing by, also heard this and
immediately came to the lady,
Santa : Madam ji, jhaadoo ki kuch tillein mujhe bhi de do,
mujhe Jalandhar jaana hai.

Santa : Aaj maine paani ko ullu bana dia.
Banta: Paani ko ullu..? Woh kaise..?
Santa : Oye! Subah maine paani garam kiya aur fir thande paani se naha liya..

TV reporter to Santa : Can you tell me
how many jokes are there on you?
Santa : Hardly 2 or max 3,
the rest are all true stories.

Santa returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit..?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all"..?
Librarian: So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory..

Accident ke baad.
Driver: Maine car ki headlight ON kar ke bataya tha ki
pehle mjhe nikalne do.
Santa : Maine bhi to wiper chala ke bataya tha ki 'na kaake na'.

Santa pravachan sun ke ghar aaya
aur apni biwi ko godh mein utha liya.
Biwi: Pravachan mein romance sikhaya hai kya?
Santa : Nahi, pravachan mein kaha ki apne dukhon ko khud uthaao.

Tintumon: Aaj kal TV mein channel bahut kharaab aa rahe hain.
Santa : Nahi to, humaare papa ne to TataSky lagwaa liya hai,
ab to bilkul theek hain, aap apna cable check karwa lo.