Police Quotes

A real story from Konni, Pathanamthitta, Kerala:
A BPL family got water connection. Everyone was happy . The tap never gave any water after initial testing but after 3-4 months a bill of Rs. 480/- came in June 2024. The poor widow lady went to the local water office to complain that she had received a water bill showing meter reading zero. She also told authorities that being a BPL family she was told that no water bill will come.

The officials told her that her connection is yet to be converted to BPL and thus she has to pay the bill. They told that the connection will be converted to BPL in January 2025. Further, they directed her to an engineer. The engineer confirmed that as the water tank is still under construction so no water has been supplied to her as reflected in zero meter reading.

The lady asked them that she wants to surrender the water connection to which the officials told her that then she needs to pay panchayat penalty for agreeing to a water connection and then surrendering it. They told her that they will temporarily disconnect the connection but in case the meter reading will reflect any usage then she will face water theft charges.

Har Ghar Jal or Har Ghar Bill?
#HarGharJal #JalJeevanMission #jalshaktiabhiyan #jalshakti

DON ki talaash 11 mulkon ki police kar rahi hai,
par DON ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi naa-mumkin hai.
Aap khush- naseeb ho jo DON khud aapko Deepawali wish kar raha hai.
Happy Deepawali.

Santa goes to a Police station & says,
"Mujhe phone per dhamkiyaan mil rahi hain."
Police : Kaun phone karta hai?
Santa : Phone company waale bolte hain BILL na diya to KAAT denge.....

Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?
Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen . and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.

Ek poet garibi se tang aa kar daku ban gaya.
Daketi karne ek bank gaya aur kaha:
Arz hai..
Taqdeer mein jo hai wahi milega
Hands-Up, koi apni jagah se nahi hilega..
Fir cashier se kaha..
Kuch khwaab meri aankhon se nikaal do
jo kuch bhi tumhaare paas hai jaldi se is bag mein daal do..
Bahut koshish karta hun teri yaad bhulaane ki
koi koshish na kare police ko bulaane ki..
Bhula de mujhko kya jaata hai tera
main goli maar doonga jo kisi ne peecha kiya mera..

Ek chota bachha road par potty kar raha tha.
Police ne use pakad liya.
Jab use le jaane lage to bachha bola,
"O Kanoon k rakhwalo, saboot to utha lo."

Santa ne ek naamcheen karamaati insaan se poocha:
Aap meri sharab churwa sakte ho..?
Karamaati: Haan kyun nahi.
Santa : To police ne meri 22 bottlein pakri hain. Churwa do.

3 chor Billu, Sonu aur Santa
Police se chhup ke 3 boriyon me ghus gaye.
Police wala aaya, usne pehli bori mein laat maari.
Billu: BOW-BOW.
Police wala: Kutta hai.
Dusri bori mein laat maari.
Sonu: MIAUU.
Police wala: Billi hai.

Teesri bori mein laat mari.
Koi aawaz nahi aayi.
Fir mari.. Koi awaz nahi..
20-25 laat mari to andar se Santa chillaaya:
Abe metric fail, AALOO kabhi bolta hai kya..

Santa : Drinking te driving dono naal-naal nahi ho sakde.
Banta: Oh kyon bai, police kolo enna darda ae..?
Santa : Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jaaun..

Just imagine life without girls..
Empty streets, silent markets
no crime, police at rest
no sms, mobile companies in losses
no flowers, no perfumes, no valentines
no suicides, no travelling
all the boys straight to Heaven ..