ਪਉੜੀ ॥ ਜਿਉ ਜਿਉ ਤੇਰਾ ਹੁਕਮੁ ਤਿਵੈ ਤਿਉ ਹੋਵਣਾ ॥
ਜਹ ਜਹ ਰਖਹਿ ਆਪਿ ਤਹ ਜਾਇ ਖੜੋਵਣਾ ॥
{ਪੰਨਾ 523}
Punjabi |
4515DON ki talaash 11 mulkon ki police kar rahi hai,
par DON ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi naa-mumkin hai.
Aap khush- naseeb ho jo DON khud aapko Deepawali wish kar raha hai.
Happy Deepawali.
Hindi |
40Lady to punjab Police -
Ji mere pati 5 din pehle gobhi laane gaye the,
abhi tak waapis nahi aaye.
Punjab Police Inspector-
Te hor koi sabzi bana lo.....
Punjabi
20Santa goes to a Police station & says,
"Mujhe phone per dhamkiyaan mil rahi hain."
Police : Kaun phone karta hai?
Santa : Phone company waale bolte hain BILL na diya to KAAT denge.....
Hindi
00Santa was riding on horse.
He jumped the Red Light.
Policeman whisteled.
Santa lifts the tail of horse and said,
"Le kar le number note!!"
Hindi
20Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?
Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen . and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.
English
41A crime story:
Five friends lived in a room.
There names were Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody & Nobody.
One day Somebody killed Nobody. That time Brain was bathing.
Mad called Police .
Police : Yes, what's the matter?
Mad: Sir, Somebody killed Nobody.
Police : Are you mad?
Mad: Yes, i am Mad.
Police : Don't you have Brain.
Mad: Sir, Brain is in the bathroom.
Police : You fool.
Mad: Sir, i am Mad,
Fool is reading the message.
English
67Ek poet garibi se tang aa kar daku ban gaya.
Daketi karne ek bank gaya aur kaha:
Arz hai..
Taqdeer mein jo hai wahi milega
Hands-Up, koi apni jagah se nahi hilega..
Fir cashier se kaha..
Kuch khwaab meri aankhon se nikaal do
jo kuch bhi tumhaare paas hai jaldi se is bag mein daal do..
Bahut koshish karta hun teri yaad bhulaane ki
koi koshish na kare police ko bulaane ki..
Bhula de mujhko kya jaata hai tera
main goli maar doonga jo kisi ne peecha kiya mera..
Hindi
62Ladka: Mere saath chalogi.?
Ladki: Kaha?
Ladka: Jaha tum kaho.
Ladki: Ok, police station chalte hain.
Ladka: Lo bataao ab banda apni behen se mazaak bhi nahi kar sakta.
Hindi
30Ek chota bachha road par potty kar raha tha.
Police ne use pakad liya.
Jab use le jaane lage to bachha bola,
"O Kanoon k rakhwalo, saboot to utha lo."
Hindi
00Police caught Santa and Banta for drinking in public place.
Inspector to Banta: Where do you live.?
Banta: I have no fixed address.
Inspector to Santa : And, where do you live.?
Santa : I live in the flat above Banta.
English |
3514Santa ne ek naamcheen karamaati insaan se poocha:
Aap meri sharab churwa sakte ho..?
Karamaati: Haan kyun nahi.
Santa : To police ne meri 22 bottlein pakri hain. Churwa do.
Hindi |
11A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"
English |
003 chor Billu, Sonu aur Santa
Police se chhup ke 3 boriyon me ghus gaye.
Police wala aaya, usne pehli bori mein laat maari.
Billu: BOW-BOW.
Police wala: Kutta hai.
Dusri bori mein laat maari.
Sonu: MIAUU.
Police wala: Billi hai.
Teesri bori mein laat mari.
Koi aawaz nahi aayi.
Fir mari.. Koi awaz nahi..
20-25 laat mari to andar se Santa chillaaya:
Abe metric fail, AALOO kabhi bolta hai kya..
Hindi |
10Santa opens the door of his car,
when suddenly another car came along
and hit the door,
ripping it off completely.
Santa to Police Officer: Look what they've done to my Car! He whined.
"You are so materialistic, you make me sick!", retorted the officer.
"You're so worried about your car,
that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
"Oh no!", replied Santa ,
finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.
"Where's my Rolex..?!"
English |
74Santa : Drinking te driving dono naal-naal nahi ho sakde.
Banta: Oh kyon bai, police kolo enna darda ae..?
Santa : Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jaaun..
Punjabi |
13Policewala agar juice ke thele par
juice pee raha ho to
dekhne waala yahi sochta hai -
Free mein pee raha hoga..
Hindi |
51Just imagine life without girls..
Empty streets, silent markets
no crime, police at rest
no sms, mobile companies in losses
no flowers, no perfumes, no valentines
no suicides, no travelling
all the boys straight to Heaven ..
English |
02Pokémon Go
No need to enter the Darwin Police Station
in order to catch a Sandshrew..
English |
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