Teacher: Please Pay A Little Attention. Student: I Am Paying As Quotes

Teacher: Please pay a little attention.
Student: I am paying as little as I can, sir.

Osama bin Laden 100 saal tak ji sakta tha agar...
Agar woh KASAB ke saath mumbai aa gaya hota
ATITHI DEVO BHAVA!!

A stranger to a child: Beta, itni chocolate khaoge to bimaar ho jaoge!
Bachcha: Mere dadaji 100 saal jiye thhe.....
Stranger: Vo chocolate khate thhe?
Bachcha: Nahi vo apne kaam se kaam rakhte thhe....

What is attitude ..?
Three ants saw an elephant coming.
1st ant - We'll kill him.
2nd ant - We'll break his legs.
3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,
and we r three.. that won't be fair.

Chand per likh du Naam Aapka,
Aisa Dil chaahta hai..
..
..
Lekin
..
..
Ek to humaara haath wahaan tak nahi jaata hai aur dusra
yeh khayaal humesha dopeher mein hi aata hai..

Ek ladka - larki hotel main gaye
Waiter: Kya loge?
Larki: Sabjiyo wali gujiya.
Waiter: What ?
Ladka: Yeh momos mang rahi hai.

A famous inspirational speaker said -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added -
'She was my mother.'
Applause & Laughter.
A top manager tried to crack this at home.
After a drink he said loudly to his wife , in kitchen -
'Best years of my life were spent
in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !'
Standing for a moment
trying to recall the second half, he finally blurted out -
'I can't remember .'