A Man Goes Skydiving. After A Fantastic Free Fall He Pulls Quotes

A man goes skydiving.
After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute
but nothing happens. He tries everything but can't get it open.

Just then another man flies by him, going UP.
The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"

I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight..!

It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it..

I am on a Mission.
Mission to avoid you,
to forget you,
to get rid of you,
to not to talk or meet you,
in short - Mission Impossible..

Doctor paagal se: Yeh chithi tum kise likh rahe ho..?
Paagal: Apne aap ko.
Doctor: Achcha isme kya likha hai.
Paagal: Maalum nahi.
Doctor: Kyu..?
Paagal: Abhi mujhe mili kahaan hai..!

Jack n Jill:
Jekwaa n Jilwaa..gaye upar hilwaa..pania bharan ke vaaste
jekwaa gir gawaa..ooka khopdi phoot gawa
aur jilwaa aawat ludkan poora raaste.

Pakistan to India:
"Trust us, we are taking as strong steps against terrorism
as you are taking against corruption !!"