It's Always Darkest Before Dawn. So If You're Going To Steal Quotes

It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it..

If you love someone
don't keep in your heart
keep in your nails
because if you fail in love
don't break your heart
just cut the nails..

Inerviewer: What is recession?
Candidate: When 'Wine & Women' get replaced by
'Water & Wife ' that critical phase of life is called recession.

Pujaari ko loose motions lag gaye,
Dr. ke paas dawaa lene gayaa.
Dr. ne dawaa di to pujaari ne poocha,
parhez kya karoon?????
Dr. bola, "Bas SHANKH zor se mat bajaanaa."

Haryanvi Jaat riding a bicycle hits a girl.
Girl: Ghanti nahin maari jaati kya?
Jaat: Re Chori, baawli hai ke?
Poori cycle maar di.. ib ghanti alag se maaru ke???

A hair in the head is worth
two in the brush..

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.