Santa : Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it..?
Banta: Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open..?

00

English |

Santa apni beti ke liye 24 saal ka ladka dekhne Delhi gayaa.
Wahaan se biwi ko phone karta hai:
"Oh bai toni di mummy,
24 da te koi ni milyeaa,
12-12 de hi do labh laan."

41

Punjabi

Santa & Banta were having dinner.
Banta - Pass the wine, you divine.
Santa thought, how poetic.
So he replied - Pass the custard, you bastard..

00

English |

Santa was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.

The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,
“Order! Order!”

Santa responded immediately,
“Thank you , your honour! I’ll have a scotch and soda.”

- Tarun Goma

21

English |

Santa : Hello, Apollo Hospital.. My friend Banta has got an Hear Attack.
Receptionist: Sir, what's your location.
Santa : Chandni Chowk, near Sunehri Masjid .
Receptionist: Can you spell that..?
Santa : After a pause, How about I take him to India Gate and
you can pick him from there..?

10

English |

Santa : Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it..?
Banta: Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open..?

00

English |

Santa raat ko machardaani laga kar so raha tha,
Achanak ek jugnoo aa gaya..
Santa : Lo ye machar humko
Torch le kar dhoondh raha hai.

00

Hindi |

संता बड़ी देर से अपने कमरे में कुछ ढूंढ़ रहा था, परेशान होकर उसकी पत्नी जीतो बोली;
जीतो: तुम इतनी देर से क्या ढूंढ़ रहे हो?
संता: हिडन कैमरा!
जीतो: तुम्हें ऐसा क्यों लगा इस कमरे में हिडन कैमरा लगा है?
संता: अगर यहाँ हिडन कैमरा नहीं लगा होता तो टी.वी. में आ रहे इस आदमी को कैसे पता होता कि हम स्टार प्लस देख रहे हैं, बार-बार यह आप देख रहे हैं स्टार प्लस क्यों बोल रहा है?

- Hemant Singh

20

Hindi |

Sardaar gives dictation test for the students.
Last bench student says that we are unable to hear,
so the sardaar replies,
ok i'll write on the board.

00

English

Santa gives dictation test to the students.
Last bench students said that they are unable to hear,
so Santa replied,
"Ok i will write on the board."

00

English

Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..

10

Hindi |

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