Santa Returns Book To Library, Bangs It On Table & Quotes

Santa returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit..?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all"..?
Librarian: So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory..

Santa & Banta were crossing river on a boat.
Banta - Hey ! this boat is sinking.
Santa - Doobne de yaar, kaun si apni hai..

Santa : Mujhe shadi mein BMW mili hai..!
Banta: Par tumhare pass toh koi car nahi hai..?
Santa :Abe gadhe, BMW ka matlab
Bahut Moti Wife ..

Santa : Aaj Tere Mobile Pe Bade
"I LOVE U" Ke Msg Aa Rahe Hai, Kya Baat Hai?
Banta: O Kuch Nahi Yaar, Apni Aaisi Kismat Kaha,
Aaj Toh BIWI Ka Mobile Laya Hu..

Santa to nauker: Ped-podho ko paani daal de.
Nauker: Saabji, baahar to baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa : Abey paagal, to chattri le ke daal de!

Santa at petrol pump: Bhai 1 Rs. ka petrol daal do.
Salesman: Bhai itna sara petrol dalwa kar kahan jaoge.
Santa : Jana kahan hai hum to aise hi paise udaate hain..

Santa and Banta bought a horse each.
Santa : How will we know which is your & which is mine?
Banta: Easy, I'll cut mine's tail, yours will be the one with tail.

This was heard by a few boys, they cut the other's tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
Banta: Don't worry, I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell.

The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Banta got frustrated & said
"Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine."