01Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..
Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.
Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.
Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.
English |
40Nurse: Mubaarak ho Mr. Santa ,
aap Papa ban gaye!!
Santa : Meri wife ko nahi bolna,
main use surprise doonga!!
Hindi
11Once in a crowded bus Santa ka paon ek ladke ke paon pe aa gaya.
Santa : Sorry.
Ladka: Shut up.
Kuch der baad ek ladki ka paon ladke ke paon pe aa gaya .
Ladki: Sorry.
Ladka: Its Ok.
Santa : Na meri sorry de spelling ghalt c..?
Punjabi |
00Santa went to doctor to loose weight.
Doctor: If you will run eight kilometers a day for 300 days, you will loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,
Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
Santa : I'm 2400 kms from home..
English |
01Ek Buddhi ne ATM ke pas Santa se kaha:
Beta mera Balance check kar do.
Santa ne Buddhi ko Dhakka de diya,
Buddhi gir gayi.
Santa : Tumhara balance kharab hai.
Hindi |
00Santa gives dictation test to the students.
Last bench students said that they are unable to hear,
so Santa replied,
"Ok i will write on the board."
English
00Santa was commiting suicide.
Banta: Ki hoya?
Santa : Yaar, meri biwi bhaag gayi mere dost ke saath.
Banta: To tu doosri shaadi kar le, suicide kyon?
Santa : Oye banteyaa main apne dost ke bina nahi reh sakta.
Hindi
00Santa : Mobile mein recharge kar do.
Shopkeeper: Kitne ka..?
Santa : Rs. 10 ka.
Shopkeeper: 7 rs. ka talktime milega.
Santa : Koi gal nahi, 3 rs. da ''BHUJIA'' de do..
Hindi |
00Teacher : 100 dollars can be divided into how many people
if each person should get 30 dollars?
Santa : Unlimited.
Teacher : Are you nuts?
You can't do that.
Santa explains and teacher faints..Details:
Santa : I will give 30 dollars to 3 people
and then will take back from them and
then I will give those to another 3 people
and then take back from them too
and so on..
English |
20Try to understand me &
don't disturb me more.
Leave me alone.
Last night I didn't sleep thinking of you,
so don't play with my life .
Santa telling to Mosquito..
English |
10Santa ne shonk shonk mein vrat rakh liya.
Santa to Wife : Dekh sooraj dooba..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Kuch der baad: Dekh dooba ya nahi..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Santa : Lagta hai yeh mujhe saath lekar hi doobega..
Hindi |
41संता की मौत बिजली गिरने से हो गई
पर उसकी लाश मुस्कुराते हुए मिली
भगवान ने पुछा ऐसा क्यों ?
संता - मैनु लगा जी कोई फोटो खींच रहा है ..
Santa ki maut bijli girne se ho gai
par uski laash muskuraate hue mili
Bhagwan ne poocha aisa kyun?
Santa - Mainu laga ji koi photo kheench raha hai..
Hindi |
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