Punjabi Funny Quotes

A real story from Konni, Pathanamthitta, Kerala:
A BPL family got water connection. Everyone was happy . The tap never gave any water after initial testing but after 3-4 months a bill of Rs. 480/- came in June 2024. The poor widow lady went to the local water office to complain that she had received a water bill showing meter reading zero. She also told authorities that being a BPL family she was told that no water bill will come.

The officials told her that her connection is yet to be converted to BPL and thus she has to pay the bill. They told that the connection will be converted to BPL in January 2025. Further, they directed her to an engineer. The engineer confirmed that as the water tank is still under construction so no water has been supplied to her as reflected in zero meter reading.

The lady asked them that she wants to surrender the water connection to which the officials told her that then she needs to pay panchayat penalty for agreeing to a water connection and then surrendering it. They told her that they will temporarily disconnect the connection but in case the meter reading will reflect any usage then she will face water theft charges.

Har Ghar Jal or Har Ghar Bill?
#HarGharJal #JalJeevanMission #jalshaktiabhiyan #jalshakti

Ek baba roz gurdware kirtan krda c,
Roz ek budhi lal suit pa ke aundi c,
Baba us nu pyaar krda c.
Ek din oh budhi nahi aayi
te baba kirtan krda kenda "sab sangta ayiea gi saade LAL nazar nai aaunde"
ose wele oh budhi HARA suit pa ke a jandi e.
Baba bolan lag pya 'mann shetal ho gya gi vekh k sangta Harian-bharian..

Ghasita Hawaldar:Tujhe apna Laptop bada karwana hai..?
Santa : Haanji, but kaise..?
Ghasita Hawaldar: Oh ji very simple,
isme se window nikaal te darvaaja fit kara le..

"Laziness is our biggest enemy" - Jawahar Lal Nehru.
"We should love our enemy." - Mahatama Gandhi.
Dasso hun bapu di manniye ya chache di..??

Kal raat chand dekhney ke baad mainey chand se pucha ki
dekha meri 'jaan sa haseen' chand ne kaha:
Pehli gal: inni doroo kuch disda nahi.
Duji gal: mein tuhade pio da naukar nai .
Teeji teh akhri gal: ae KANJAR - KALESH thalle hi rakheya karo,
mere kol leke na aya karo.

An apple a day,
keeps the doctor away.
But if the doctor is cute..
ki kar lega fruit!!

Girl to her boyfriend: Can you drive the car with one hand..?
Boyfriend (romantically): Ya sure!
Girl: Taan nak saaf kar le sidla jeha,
kado da vagi jaanda hai.