Santa Joined Army, Given Ak-47, Puzzeled Santa Asks Major, "Sir, Is Quotes

Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

Khirki khuli, zulfein udi,
socha husn-e-yaar ka deedaar tha.
Par zulfein hati, to manzar kuch aur tha,
kyonki woh to nahaaya hua sardaar tha..

Santa wanted to become as famous as Newton.
So he wrote down The Fourth Law of Motion:
Loose Motion can never be done in Slow Motion!

Santa in london went to hotel to eat chicken.
He forgot the english name.
Waiter: What do you like to have, sir?
Santa : Egg's mother..

Santa & Banta were having dinner.
Banta - Pass the wine, you divine.
Santa thought, how poetic.
So he replied - Pass the custard, you bastard..

Girl to sardaar- Will u marry me?
Sardaar- In our family we only marry relatives.
Mom married Dad, bhaiya married bhabhi,
didi married jiju.
So i can't marry u, Sorry..