Saddam(Narak Mein): Yamraaj Ji, Mujhe Pakistan Baat Karni Hai. Yamraaj: Karlo. After Quotes

Saddam(Narak mein): Yamraaj ji, mujhe pakistan baat karni hai.
Yamraaj: Karlo.
After the call..
Saddam: Kitne rupae hue..?
Yamraaj: Narak to narak calls free hain.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".

सनम तेरी याद में हमें दस्त लग गए
ये भी आँसू ही हैं
जो बस रास्ता भटक गए ..

Sanam teri yaar mein humein dust lag gaye
yeh bhi aansu hi hain
jo bas rasta bhatak gaye..

Funny Slogans
RTO - Donate blood, but not on road.
Forest Deptt. - Shoot birds with camera,
not with guns.
Kingfisher - Fly with us, not on plane,
but with Beer..

A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.

A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes , tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.

At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"

A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.

Pathan - Moulvi sahab, wazu ke baghair namaz ho jaati hai?
Moulvi - Nahi hoti.
Pathan - Ho jaati hai.
Moulvi - Bhai, nahi hoti.
Pathan - Ho jaati hai, maine khud padh kar dekhi hai..