Kid : I Need A Burger. Santa : But That's Stale Quotes

Kid : I need a burger.
Santa : But that's stale roti.
It becomes puffy as it expires..

Santa sookhe taalaab mein boat chala raha tha.
Banta: Aise logo ne hi humaara naam kharaab kar rakha hai,
agar mujhe tairna aata to wahi jaa kar maarta saale ko..

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..

Government promised jiske 5 bachche hain oose ghar degi.
Santa ke 3, usne Wife se kaha: Padosan ke 2 bhi mere hain,
unko lata hun.
Lane ke baad:
Santa : Apne 3 kaha gaye?
Wife : Jinke the woh le gaye.

"Did your late employer give you a testimonial..?", Interviewer asked.
Santa : "Yes, Sir. But the way employers look at it when I apply for a job
make one think there's something wrong with it."
Interviewer: "What does it say, then?"
Santa : "Why, he said I was one of the best men his firm had ever turned out."

Santa apni pockets mein pathar daal ke ghoom raha tha.
Kisi ne poocha: Aisa kyon kar rahe ho..?
Santa : Is duniya mein usi ki qadar hoti hai, jiski jeb bhaari hoti hai..