चाटी क्यों अम्मा चुम्बक तू इक दिल्ली गयो दूजा टिम्बकटू Quotes

चाटी क्यों अम्मा चुम्बक तू
इक दिल्ली गयो दूजा टिम्बकटू ..

Details:
These lines are taken from Hotstar VIVO IPL 2019 campaign advertisement. Quite funny and creative #KoiYaarNahiFar..

Judge: Sach-sach batao tumne apni biwi per haath kyun uthaaya..?
Mulzim: 3 baaton ki wajah se
1. Uska chehra meri taraf nahi tha
2. Uske haath mein belan nahi tha
3. Aur sabse badi wajah,
mere bhaagne ke liye darwaaza khula tha..

Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha:
Apne bade bhai ke pair chhu rahe ho..?
Ladka: JI BHABHI JI..

Engg. Student: Sir humne aisi cheez banayi hai jisse hum
deewar ke us paar bhi dekh sakte hain.....

Sir: Wow, fantastic! Kya hai woh?

Student:
Suraakh.......

The trouble with having an open mind,
of course, is that
people will insist on coming along and
trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Teacher: Please pay a little attention.
Student: I am paying as little as I can, sir.

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..