A Roman Walks Into A Bar And Asks For A Quotes

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".

Ladki pataane ka tarika:
Chupke se uske peeche jaa kar use daraao.
Agar woh hasi to samjho pat gai..
Agar gussa hui to zor-zor se chillao,
Didi darr gayi..Didi darr gayi..

Attachment is not when two people chat day & night..
its when someone e-mail u and adds an image or data file with it..

Life mein chaahe kitne bhi dukh mile, ghum mile,
apne aansu beh jaane dena, unhe rokna mat kyonki..
ruke hue paani mein hi Malaria wale machchar ande dete hain.

A man gave advt. in matrimonial column:
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got several replies saying:
"MERI LE JAA"

Na jaane woh humse kya chupaati thi,
kuch tha uske honto pe magar na jaane kyon sharmaati thi,
jab humne muh khulwaa ke dekha..
to pataa chalaa..
woh to gutkha khaati thi!!

What is attitude ..?
Three ants saw an elephant coming.
1st ant - We'll kill him.
2nd ant - We'll break his legs.
3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,
and we r three.. that won't be fair.