31A baniya boy on date with his girlfrnd.
On coming back home,
His dad: Kitne rupye kharche?
Son: 500
Dad: (angrily) 500?
Son: Haa! wo itne hi leke aayi thi.
Hindi
00Pokémon Go
Look up, away from your phone and
both ways before crossing the street..
English |
31A scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out.
He asked members of the audience to raise their hands.
As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again.
He then said,
"Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: 'Many hands make light work."
English |
20Investment returns in one year:
Gold 28%,
Silver 80%,
Crude 40%,
Sensex 35%
&
ONION 880%,
Kaash..
Ek Lakh ke Pyaaz liye hote
to NEW YEAR ke liye Europe me hota..
Hindi |
412 seater helicopter crashed on a kabristan in Punjab.
Next day's news: Punjab mein hawaai jahaaz gira,
250 laashe dhoond nikali gai hain, aur talaash jaari hai.
Hindi
5016रोक दो मेरे जनाज़े को
मैंने कहा रोक दो मेरे जनाज़े को
कि मुझमें जान आ गई है
पीछे मुड़कर देखो यारों
दारु की दुकान आ गई है ..
Rok do mere janaaze ko
maine kaha rok do mere janaaze ko
ki mujh mein jaan aa gayi hai
peeche mud kar dekho yaaron
daaru ki dukaan aa gayi hai..
Hindi |
50सनम तेरी याद में हमें दस्त लग गए
ये भी आँसू ही हैं
जो बस रास्ता भटक गए ..
Sanam teri yaar mein humein dust lag gaye
yeh bhi aansu hi hain
jo bas rasta bhatak gaye..
Hindi |
32Hansa: AUTOMATICALLY matlab?
Praful: Jab auto mein baith kar koi ladki ganji ho jaaye
to usko kehte hain,
AUTO-MEIN-TAKLI!!!
Hindi
22Media people asked abhishek,
what is the difference between new n old umraao jaan..?
Abhishek replied, not a big difference,
nayi mein apni setting hui..
aur purani mein papa ki..
Hindi
12Two sardaars were talking.
1st: Is Harbhajan Singh, the cricketer, male or female?
2nd: Female.
1st: How?
2nd: Just now the commentator told a wonderful delivery by him.
English
01A carpenter was working on a building.
He was on the second story using an electric saw,
when he accidentally saws off one of his ears.
He looks down on the ground and,
in hopes of finding his ear and
having it sewn back on,
calls to the men working below.
"Hey, do any of you guys see an ear down there?"
One of the men glances around, then yells up,
"Hey buddy! Is this it?"
Carpenter: "No, mine had a pencil behind it!"
English |
00Every tear is a sign of-
Onions,
Every silence is a sign of-
Zero balance,
Every smile is a sign of-
Daily brushing..
LIFE is simple
Don't make it complex..
English |
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