I'll admit that the Chinese kids
in math class are pretty smart
but doing it with their eyes closed
that's a bit tricky..

03

English |

jokes.jpg

Doctor paagal se: Yeh chithi tum kise likh rahe ho..?
Paagal: Apne aap ko.
Doctor: Achcha isme kya likha hai.
Paagal: Maalum nahi.
Doctor: Kyu..?
Paagal: Abhi mujhe mili kahaan hai..!

123

Hindi

Who Killed Osama Bin Laden??
ROBIN BROWN, ANDY PHILIP, JAKOB MURPHY,
NORMAN GRACE, IAN KEPLING??
Recognized these guys?
These are the names of those Navy Seals
who killed Osama Bin Laden!
Now you..

- Sumit Nigam

13

English |

Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha:
Apne bade bhai ke pair chhu rahe ho..?
Ladka: JI BHABHI JI..

103

Hindi |

A guy walks into work with both of his ears bandaged up.
His boss asks, "what happened to you?"
The man replies "I was ironing my clothes
when my phone rang and
I accidentally answered my iron."
His boss then says "Well, that explains one ear,
what about the other one?"
The man says "Well, I had to call the doctor!"

25

English |

A lady was driving for the first time on a highway.
Her husband called on her cellphone -
Be careful Honey, it's coming on radio that
somebody is driving on the wrong side of the road.
Lady replied - Somebody..?
Those stupids are in hundreds..

20

English |

Anaath Ashram Manager to Bania:
Sethji, aap hamare anaath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?

Funny Bania: Mein anaath ashram mein apne Char bachhe bhej sakta hu.

- Hemant Singh

70

Hindi |

Dhirubhai calling from heaven ..
Beta mukesh apna reliance INDIA moblie kaisa chal raha hai..?
Mukesh: Papa, kuch sunaai nahi de rahaa hai,
aap mere Idea waale number per call karo.

72

Hindi

Ek aadmi STD shop per phone karne jaata hai
aur STD waale ko 2 thappad maarta hai. Kyon..?????
Kyonki STD shop ke baahar likha tha,
dial karne se pehle 2 lagaayein.

146

Hindi

Salesman cheerfully greeted
the person entering showroom.
Salesman - Sir, May I help you.
Man - Ahmm..
Salesman - Sir, we have got fresh arrivals
and are offering 10 percent discount.
Man - But..
Salesman - Sir, you can also avail
extra benefits by joining our loyalty program.
What would you like to have Sir.
Man - My dog.

21

English |

If doctors start making films
titles wud be:
kabhi funsi..kabhi jakham
hum blood de chuke sanam
maine mbbs kyon kiya
ab tumhaare hawaale operation saathiyon
humaara stethoscope aapke paas hai
mujhe kuch kaatna hai
kaho na bukhaar hai
appendix mil gaya
kal patient ho na ho.

63

Hindi

A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.

15

English |

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