Santa: Every Night I See Monkeys Playing Football In My Dreams.. Doctor: Quotes

Santa : Every night I see monkeys
playing football in my dreams..
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight for a week.
Santa : Can I start from tomorrow..?
Because tonight is the Final Match..

Santa : Jab main mar jaun to samne waali family ko jaroor bulana.
Banta: Kyon..?
Santa : Unke ghar ki ladies murde ko japhian paa-paa kar roti hain..

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.

Santa got a new job:
1st day he worked till evening .
Boss was happy and asked what u did till evening ?
Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in right order,
i made it correct.....

Santa ne apni nayi girlfriend k
kandhe pe 1st time hath rakha aur
bahut dhire se nervously bola: "I love u"
Girlfriend-"zor se Bolo''
Santa -"JAI MATA DI"

Santa : Bhaisaab, kya time hua hai??
A man: 10:30
Santa : Saalaa subha se pooch rahaa hun,
sab alag alag time bataa rahe hain..