11Santa : Mujhe shadi mein BMW mili hai..!
Banta: Par tumhare pass toh koi car nahi hai..?
Santa :Abe gadhe, BMW ka matlab
Bahut Moti Wife ..
Hindi |
00Santa went to doctor to loose weight.
Doctor: If you will run eight kilometers a day for 300 days, you will loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,
Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
Santa : I'm 2400 kms from home..
English |
01Teacher : How many juice tetra packs can you
buy in 100 dollars if cost of one is 30 dollars?
Santa : 100 packs.
Teacher : Sorry, that's not correct.
Santa explains and the whole class claps..Recepients:
Santa : I will buy 100 packs on credit by paying 100 dollars..
English |
10Santa ne shonk shonk mein vrat rakh liya.
Santa to Wife : Dekh sooraj dooba..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Kuch der baad: Dekh dooba ya nahi..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Santa : Lagta hai yeh mujhe saath lekar hi doobega..
Hindi |
10Santa : Ek chor ne mujhe chaku dikha ke lut liya,
Banta: Tere paas to hamesha gun hoti hai..?
Santa : Haan.. 2 lakh ki hai
maine chupaa li thi varna woh bhi le jaata..
Hindi |
00Smartest thing santa ever did.
He changed his passwords to incorrect.
So whenever he forgets, the computer will remind him,
'Incorrect username or password.'..
English |
21Santa was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.
- Tarun Goma
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,
“Order! Order!”
Santa responded immediately,
“Thank you , your honour! I’ll have a scotch and soda.”
English |
00A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..
English |
10Banta: When I was born,
military people fired 21 canons.
Santa : Wow.. All missed the target.
English |
10Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..
Punjabi
113Santa saw a beautiful girl,
he went and kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what are you doing..?"
Santa : B.Com final year.
English |
00Police caught Santa and Banta for drinking in public place.
Inspector to Banta: Where do you live.?
Banta: I have no fixed address.
Inspector to Santa : And, where do you live.?
Santa : I live in the flat above Banta.
English |
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