"Did Your Late Employer Give You A Testimonial..?", Interviewer Asked. Santa: Quotes

"Did your late employer give you a testimonial..?", Interviewer asked.
Santa : "Yes, Sir. But the way employers look at it when I apply for a job
make one think there's something wrong with it."
Interviewer: "What does it say, then?"
Santa : "Why, he said I was one of the best men his firm had ever turned out."

Teacher: Santa , You need to improve your handwriting.
Santa : Sir, actually Banta needs improvement.
He only completes my homework.

Santa 5 min mein paper dekar examination hall se baahar aa gaya.
Teacher: paper nahi aata tha kya?
Santa : Aata tha, par who agle paper ki tyaari karni thi.

Ram-leela se hanumaan tha fraar,
role ke liye fit kiya ek Sardaar,
tha bahut hi kamaal,
ped se chalaang lagaa kar bola..
Jo bole so nihaal.....
Sita Mata, Sat Shri Akaal!!

Santa ne shonk shonk mein vrat rakh liya.
Santa to Wife : Dekh sooraj dooba..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Kuch der baad: Dekh dooba ya nahi..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Santa : Lagta hai yeh mujhe saath lekar hi doobega..

मंगल ग्रह पर पानी मिलने की खबर सुन कर
संता नासा फ़ोन करता है .
संता : ओ जी यह मंगल पर पानी मिल गया आपको ..?
नासा : यस
संता : ओ जी मुबारक हो जी..इक्क बोतल पानी चाहिदा सी
नासा : सॉरी , वी कांट गिव
संता : ओह ले ..इतना पैसा खर्चा करके
पानी भी ढून्ढ लित्ता है ते दे वी नहीं रहे
बन्दा धोने क्या मंगल पे जाएगा ..

Mangal greh par paani milne ki khabar sun kar
Santa NASA phone karta hai.
Santa : O ji yeh mangal par paani mil gaya aapko..?
NASA: Yes
Santa : O ji mubaarak ho ji..Ikk botal paani chaahida si
NASA: Sorry, we can't give.
Santa : Oh le..itna paisa kharchaa karke
paani bhi dhoond litta hai te de v nahi rahe
banda dhone kya mangal pe jaayega..

Santa was filling a slambook.
He didn't knew the meaning of Zodiac sign.
He turned the previous page and
saw that somebody had written Cancer,
so he wrote Gas Problem..