"Did Your Late Employer Give You A Testimonial..?", Interviewer Asked. Santa: Quotes

"Did your late employer give you a testimonial..?", Interviewer asked.
Santa : "Yes, Sir. But the way employers look at it when I apply for a job
make one think there's something wrong with it."
Interviewer: "What does it say, then?"
Santa : "Why, he said I was one of the best men his firm had ever turned out."

Teacher: Santa , You need to improve your handwriting.
Santa : Sir, actually Banta needs improvement.
He only completes my homework.

Teacher : 100 dollars can be divided into how many people
if each person should get 30 dollars?
Santa : Unlimited.
Teacher : Are you nuts?
You can't do that.
Santa explains and teacher faints..

Details:
Santa : I will give 30 dollars to 3 people
and then will take back from them and
then I will give those to another 3 people
and then take back from them too
and so on..

Santa kudi nu: Ki tu meri valentine banengi..?
Kudi: Eh jutti vekhi hai..?
Santa : Marjaaniye, main Romeo-Juliet banaan nu firdaa,
sittu mochi di daastaan nahi.

Santa : Yaar Banta, hum dono mein kya rishta hai?
Banta: Jo Gobar aur Uple mein hai.
Santa : Woh kaise?
Banta: Jab Gobar Santa hai, tabhi to Upla Banta hai.

Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..

Santa ne shonk shonk mein vrat rakh liya.
Santa to Wife : Dekh sooraj dooba..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Kuch der baad: Dekh dooba ya nahi..?
Wife : Nahi ji.
Santa : Lagta hai yeh mujhe saath lekar hi doobega..