Santa's Son Was Filling An Application Form.. The Form Asked About Quotes

Santa 's son was filling an Application Form..
The form asked about "MOTHER TONGUE"?

Son: Papa main ethe ki likhu.?

Santa : Likh puttar
very LONG & UNCONTROLLED..

Judge to Santa : tum 3rd time adalat main aa rahe ho.
Tumhe sharam nahi aati..?
Santa : janab tusi ta roz hi aande ho
tuhanu ta dubb ke mar jana chaida hai.

Santa went to doctor to loose weight.
Doctor: If you will run eight kilometers a day for 300 days, you will loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,
Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
Santa : I'm 2400 kms from home..

Santa first time travelling in plane.
Plane began to run on run-way.
Santa got angry and said,
"Saalio, jahaaz ta agge hi char ghante late aa,
te tussi sadko-sadki paa liya."

Santa was sitting and thinking hard.
Preetoji: Kya soch rahe ho ji?
Santa : Yeh TV waalo ko kaise pataa chal gayaa?
Preetoji: Kya?
Santa : "Aap dekh rahe hain STAR PLUS."

Teacher: You know, you can't sleep in my class.
Santa : I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could..

Santa (ladki ko chedte hue):
Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??
Ladki (Gusse mein)
Jo teri bhen da.
Santa : Woh to pregnant hai..