Aaj Ke Baad Na Peeyenge Sharaab Humne Kasam Khaai Hai, Aur Isi Quotes

Aaj ke baad na peeyenge sharaab
humne kasam khaai hai,
aur isi khushi mein
ek peti aur mangwaai hai.

Ek aadmi kabr par baitha tha.
Musaafir ne poocha darr nahi lagtaa..?
Aadmi: Darne ki kya baat hai..?
Ander garmi lag rahi thi..to baahar aa gaya.

चाटी क्यों अम्मा चुम्बक तू
इक दिल्ली गयो दूजा टिम्बकटू ..

Details:
These lines are taken from Hotstar VIVO IPL 2019 campaign advertisement. Quite funny and creative #KoiYaarNahiFar..

Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?
Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen . and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.

Teacher asks a kid: What are the two latest versions of Java..?
Kid says: Marjava and Mitjava.

Why India is not yet developed?
Though population is 100 crore?
Because 7.9 crore are retired,
30 crore in state government jobs,
17 crore in central government jobs
(Both don't work efficiently).
1.1 crore IT professional
(They don't work for India).
25 crore in school,
2 crore under 5 years,
15 crore unemployed,
1.2 crore you can find anytime in hospitals.
Statistics say 79,99,997 people are in jail.
Rest two are you and me.
You are busy with your mobile .
How can i handle India alone..?

Dil aur Duniya Me Sirf Itna Frq Hai
K Is Duniya Me Bahut Log Rehte Hain
aur Is Dil mein SIRF
Aap
KI
"BHABHI" Rehti hai,
saalo har jagah khud ko mat ghusaya karo.