Santa Talking On Cell. Banta: Kis Se Baat Kar Rahe Ho? Santa: Quotes

Santa talking on cell.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa : Biwi se.
Banta: Itne pyaar se.
Santa : Tumhaari hai na!

Santa : Doctor saab mujhe chot lag gayi hai.
Doctor: Bahut gehri chot hai, taanke lagenge, 1000 Rs lagenge.
Santa : Bhutni dea, taanke laune ne, kadaai nahi karni..

Ik vaar Santa apne yaar de viah te
jaa ke naan zyaada khaa lenda hai,
te ghar aa ke badaa aukhaa hundaa hai
te flush wich beh ke kehndaa hai:
Rabba, ya Jaan kadh leh,
ya fer Naan kadh leh..

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

Hindi teacher asks Santa : Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain?
Santa : O G 7 prakaar ke -
1. Local kaal
2. STD kaal
3. ISD kaal
4. Missed kaal
5. Received kaal
6. Dialled kaal aur
7. Sat Sri Akal

One afternoon, Banta came to Santa 's home.
Santa : Chalo dinner karte hain
Banta: Par abhi to dopeher hai aur dopeher ko to lunch karte hain..?
Santa : Oh yara khana to kal raat waala hi hai na..

Santa was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.

The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,
“Order! Order!”

Santa responded immediately,
“Thank you , your honour! I’ll have a scotch and soda.”