A Man Gave Advt. In Matrimonial Column: "PATNI CHAHIYE" He Got Several Quotes

A man gave advt. in matrimonial column:
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got several replies saying:
"MERI LE JAA"

A guy walks into work with both of his ears bandaged up.
His boss asks, "what happened to you?"
The man replies "I was ironing my clothes
when my phone rang and
I accidentally answered my iron."
His boss then says "Well, that explains one ear,
what about the other one?"
The man says "Well, I had to call the doctor!"

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai,
kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai,
kharchaa karo to bole- Darling, I love u..
na karo to bole- Bhaiya, who r u..?

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".

Soldier: Sir, i want 1 week leave to go home.
Senior: I will give you one month leave if you will caught enemies tank.

After some time.
Soldier: Sir, i have caught the enemies tank, it is standing outside.
Senior (astonished): Great! How did you managed that.
Soldier: Sir, when enemies soldiers need leave
they also borrow tank from us.

Patient: Aapne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai
uske haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hun,
chaante ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi.

Jo is waqt bor ho rahe hain,
Ye PROGRAM sirf unke liye hai.

Batayen Duniya ka Pehla Traffic Signal
kaha lagaya gaya tha..?

Nahi pata..?

Jawab janiye is Break ke baad.

BREAK

- Dairy milk kuch meetha ho jay

- Rishta wohi soch nai STAR PLUS

- HERO HONDA dhak dhak go

- Panteen
Katrina ki pasand aur aapki?

- Surf Excel
Dadi ek minute

- Dew
Kyunki dar ke aage jeet hai

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Duniya ka Pehla Traffic Signal
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Road pe lagaya gaya tha..