2 Soldiers Capture An Enemy & Gave Him A Dice & Quotes

I'll admit that the Chinese kids
in math class are pretty smart
but doing it with their eyes closed
that's a bit tricky..

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license.
He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
Policeman: "I don't care who you know! You're getting fined!"

Investment returns in one year:
Gold 28%,
Silver 80%,
Crude 40%,
Sensex 35%
&
ONION 880%,
Kaash..
Ek Lakh ke Pyaaz liye hote
to NEW YEAR ke liye Europe me hota..

Doctor: Is dawaa ko ek hafte mein poora karo aur baad mein aake milo.
Patient: Theek hai doctor.
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: Dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: Nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: Usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe..

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.