Lawyer: Now that we have won,
will you tell me confidentially
if you stole the money?
Client: Well, after hearing you talk in court yesterday,
I am beginning to think I didn't.

00

English |

funny.jpg

Every takeoff is optional.
Every landing is mandatory.

00

English |

Height of Confidence
All the aeronautics professors were called and
they were asked to sit in an aeroplane.
After they sat, they were told that
the plane was made by their students.
All of them hurried out of the plane but
only one of them didn't move.
He said: If it's made by my students,
it won't even start..!

00

English |

Chand per likh du Naam Aapka,
Aisa Dil chaahta hai..
..
..
Lekin
..
..
Ek to humaara haath wahaan tak nahi jaata hai aur dusra
yeh khayaal humesha dopeher mein hi aata hai..

40

Hindi |

What is attitude ..?
Three ants saw an elephant coming.
1st ant - We'll kill him.
2nd ant - We'll break his legs.
3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,
and we r three.. that won't be fair.

130

English

Dr. to patient's Friend : Agar ek ghanta pehle le aate
to shaayad hum ise bacha lete.
Friend : Abe saale, 15 minute pehle to accidnt hua hai.

30

Hindi

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..

11

Hindi

2 soldiers capture an enemy &
gave him a dice & told that
if he get 1,2,3,4 or 5 then he will be killed.
The captured soldier asks what if he gets 6.
They replied - then it's again your turn..

00

English |

Media people asked abhishek,
what is the difference between new n old umraao jaan..?
Abhishek replied, not a big difference,
nayi mein apni setting hui..
aur purani mein papa ki..

22

Hindi

A lady was driving for the first time on a highway.
Her husband called on her cellphone -
Be careful Honey, it's coming on radio that
somebody is driving on the wrong side of the road.
Lady replied - Somebody..?
Those stupids are in hundreds..

20

English |

If children's prayer had any effect,
there wouldn't be a single teacher alive.

20

English |

Ek kanjoos ke bete ka acident ho gaya.
Dr: Aapke bete ki dono leg katni padegi.
Kanjoos ne apna sir pakad liya
Dr: Kya hua..?
Kanjoos: Kal hi saale ko nayi chappal dilayi thi.

50

Hindi |

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