Santa and Banta bought a horse each.
Santa : How will we know which is your & which is mine?
Banta: Easy, I'll cut mine's tail, yours will be the one with tail.

This was heard by a few boys, they cut the other's tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
Banta: Don't worry, I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell.

The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Banta got frustrated & said
"Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine."

00

English |

संता बड़ी देर से अपने कमरे में कुछ ढूंढ़ रहा था, परेशान होकर उसकी पत्नी जीतो बोली;
जीतो: तुम इतनी देर से क्या ढूंढ़ रहे हो?
संता: हिडन कैमरा!
जीतो: तुम्हें ऐसा क्यों लगा इस कमरे में हिडन कैमरा लगा है?
संता: अगर यहाँ हिडन कैमरा नहीं लगा होता तो टी.वी. में आ रहे इस आदमी को कैसे पता होता कि हम स्टार प्लस देख रहे हैं, बार-बार यह आप देख रहे हैं स्टार प्लस क्यों बोल रहा है?

- Hemant Singh
20

Hindi |

Santa proposed a girl.......
Girl: I am one year elder to u.
Santa : Oye, no problem sohniye, I will marry u next year.

00

English

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes.
He got irritated..
drank poison and said
Now bite, u'll die bastards..

00

English

Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.

10

Hindi

Santa : Aaj maine paani ko ullu bana dia.
Banta: Paani ko ullu..? Woh kaise..?
Santa : Oye! Subah maine paani garam kiya aur fir thande paani se naha liya..

00

Hindi |

As pilots, Santa and Banta were trying to land an airplane.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screamed:
"Get the airplane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, Santa screamed again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...

They make a big turn and start descending again...
This goes on again and again...

During their fourth descent Santa says:
"Look at those stupid people,
they build this huge & expensive airport
but with such a short runaway...",
"I know" answers Banta, "But look how wide they made it...."

10

English |

Frog to Santa : Kya sardaar ka dimaag hota hai?
Santa : Haan hota hai.
Frog: Nahi hota.
and the frog jumps in the water.
Santa : Isme suicide karne ki kya baat thi,
i was joking..

10

Hindi

एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!

- Hemant Singh
22

Hindi |

Sardaar gives dictation test for the students.
Last bench student says that we are unable to hear,
so the sardaar replies,
ok i'll write on the board.

00

English

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

01

English |

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