21Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat.
- Vidhi
The government hates competition..
English |
01A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".
English |
32Soldier: Sir, i want 1 week leave to go home.
Senior: I will give you one month leave if you will caught enemies tank.
After some time.
Soldier: Sir, i have caught the enemies tank, it is standing outside.
Senior (astonished): Great! How did you managed that.
Soldier: Sir, when enemies soldiers need leave
they also borrow tank from us.
English |
140Joe: We will soon become rich.
Jill: How?
Joe: Tomorrow my mathematics teacher will teach me
how to convert paisa into rupees.
English
21A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.
A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes , tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.
At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"
English |
02Father to son: Whenever i beat you,
you don't get annoyed, how you control your anger..?
Son: I start cleaning the toilet seat with your toothbrush.
English |
15A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.
English |
50In court Judge to Lady:
You are really very brave, Daaku ko bahut maara tumNe.
Lady: Mujhe kya pata daaku tha,
main samjhi mere pati ghar dair se aaye hain.
Hindi |
21Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat.
- Vidhi
The government hates competition..
English |
43If a Fat Girl is waiting for bus at bus stop
what will you call her in One Word..?
Answer - MotiVating..
Hindi |
20Cricketer ka beta: Arre dekho maa..
papa sixer per sixer maare jaa rahe hain!!
Maa: Beta theek se dekho..
advertisement hoga.
Hindi
70Sheher ki gali mein paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro ki muskan
Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko paan
Khaa ke paan Paro boli "Shukriya Bhaijaan"..
Hindi |
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