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Young Harold was late for Sunday-school and
the minister inquired the cause.
"I was going fishing, but father wouldn't let me,"
announced the lad.
"That's the right kind of a father to have," replied the reverend gentleman.
"Did he explain the reason why he would not let you go..?"
"Yes, sir. He said there wasn't bait enough for two."

If you love someone
don't keep in your heart
keep in your nails
because if you fail in love
don't break your heart
just cut the nails..

Indian Air Force - IAF pilots training camp advice:
"Always try to keep the number
of landings you make
equal to the number of take
offs you make."

Before Marriage
Roses are red, Sky is blue,
U r beautiful,
I luv u.

After Marriage
Roses are dead, i have flu,
Don't get on my head,
side ho Tu..

Doctor: Is dawaa ko ek hafte mein poora karo aur baad mein aake milo.
Patient: Theek hai doctor.
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: Dawaa khatam huaa kya?
Patient: Nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: Usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe..

A scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out.
He asked members of the audience to raise their hands.
As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again.
He then said,
"Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: 'Many hands make light work."