20संता बड़ी देर से अपने कमरे में कुछ ढूंढ़ रहा था, परेशान होकर उसकी पत्नी जीतो बोली;
- Hemant Singh
जीतो: तुम इतनी देर से क्या ढूंढ़ रहे हो?
संता: हिडन कैमरा!
जीतो: तुम्हें ऐसा क्यों लगा इस कमरे में हिडन कैमरा लगा है?
संता: अगर यहाँ हिडन कैमरा नहीं लगा होता तो टी.वी. में आ रहे इस आदमी को कैसे पता होता कि हम स्टार प्लस देख रहे हैं, बार-बार यह आप देख रहे हैं स्टार प्लस क्यों बोल रहा है?
Hindi |
10Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 2 ladki aur 1 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kg rice khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..
Hindi |
01Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..
Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.
Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.
Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.
English |
11Ram-leela se hanumaan tha fraar,
role ke liye fit kiya ek Sardaar,
tha bahut hi kamaal,
ped se chalaang lagaa kar bola..
Jo bole so nihaal.....
Sita Mata, Sat Shri Akaal!!
Hindi
21Santa 5 min mein paper dekar examination hall se baahar aa gaya.
Teacher: paper nahi aata tha kya?
Santa : Aata tha, par who agle paper ki tyaari karni thi.
Hindi
10Santa : Yaar main tainu kinni baar ph. kitta,
par tu phone hi nahi chukeyaa..?
Banta: Kyon chukaan, jehdaa main apne cell wich
30 Rs. de ke gaana lagwaayea hai
ohnu fer kaun sunega?????
Punjabi
20Captain of military: Naujawaan, aage badho.
Ek sardaar aage nahi badhta.
Captain: Tum aage kyon nahi badhaa, jawaan.
Sardaar: Aapne kaha 9 jawaan aage badho,
main 10ve number per hun.
Hindi
21Do bhoot galaan kar rahe si.
Pehla bhoot: Yaar tu kadi sardaar dekhe ne?
Doosra bhoot: Sardaar-sardoor kuch ni hunde,
sab mann da vehm hai, dari na.
Punjabi
10Santa : Yaar uth bhookamp aa rahaa hai..saara ghar hil raha hai.
Banta: Soja-soja ghar girega to makaan maalik ka..hum to kiraayedaar hain..
Hindi
10Khirki khuli, zulfein udi,
socha husn-e-yaar ka deedaar tha.
Par zulfein hati, to manzar kuch aur tha,
kyonki woh to nahaaya hua sardaar tha..
Hindi
00Banta: Kya hua Santa , chup kyun hai..?
Santa : Aaj mere dost ka Happy Birthday hai aur
mujhe sms bhejna hai.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai,
fir tu udaas kyun hai..?
Kya mobile mein balance nahi hai..?
Santa : Mere paas mobile nahi hai.
Hindi |
10Santa plane landing hote hi chillane laga..
Bangalore aaya..Bangalore aaya..balle balle!!
Airhostess: Excuse me sir, please be silent.
Santa : Ok, i am sorry,
Angalore aaya..angalore aaya..alle alle!!
Hindi
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