Santa : Mere 4 beto me se 3 to engineer ban gaye,
Lekin kambakht ek DAAKU ban gaya.
Banta: To usko ghar se nikal do,
Santa : Yai to dikkat hai,
kama ke To sirf wahi lata hai.

01

Hindi

Santa ki biwi Behosh Ho Gayi.
Doctor: Ye Mar gayi Hai.
Jab Usko Jalane Lage to Wo Boli: Main Zinda Hu.
Santa : Chup-chap Padi Reh gawar,
tu Doctor Se Zyada Janti hai kya.

00

Hindi |

Santa : Hello, Apollo Hospital.. My friend Banta has got an Hear Attack.
Receptionist: Sir, what's your location.
Santa : Chandni Chowk, near Sunehri Masjid .
Receptionist: Can you spell that..?
Santa : After a pause, How about I take him to India Gate and
you can pick him from there..?

10

English |

Santa opens the door of his car,
when suddenly another car came along
and hit the door,
ripping it off completely.
Santa to Police Officer: Look what they've done to my Car! He whined.

"You are so materialistic, you make me sick!", retorted the officer.
"You're so worried about your car,
that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh no!", replied Santa ,
finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.
"Where's my Rolex..?!"

10

English |

एक बार संता अपनी पत्नी जीतो के साथ कॉफी पीने जाता है और
दो हॉट कॉफी ऑर्डर करता है,
कुछ देर बाद जैसे ही वेटर कॉफी लेकर आता है तो संता, जीतो से कहता है:
संता: ओ जीतो जल्दी-जल्दी कॉफी पी ले अगर ठण्डी हो गई तो फ़ालतू में ज्यादा पैसे देने पड़ेंगे!
जीतो: क्यों क्या हुआ? मुंह जलवाने से तो अच्छा है कि, यह थोड़ी ठंडी हो जाए उसके बाद पिएं!
संता: पागल तूने इनकी रेट लिस्ट नहीं देखी, हॉट कॉफी 15 रुपए और कोल्ड कॉफ़ी 45 रुपए की है!

- Hemant Singh

22

Hindi |

Santa apne baap ki death par bahut roya.
Fir uski sister ka phone aaya.
Phone sun kar Santa aur bhi rone laga.
Logon ne poocha kyon ro rahe ho..?
Santa : Meri bhen da vi abba mar gaya hai.

31

Hindi |

10 people beating a sardaar,
but he was laughing..
A man asked,
"Why are you laughing?"
Sardaar: Main Joginder hun,
yeh log mujhe Parminder samajh ke maar rahe hain!!

00

Hindi

"Ever get any nice butter..?" Santa asked shop-keeper.
"Supply in every day," replied the shop-keeper.
"Then why in thunder don't you sell it..?" asked Santa ..

00

English |

Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.

10

Hindi

Santa : Yaar Banta, hum dono mein kya rishta hai?
Banta: Jo Gobar aur Uple mein hai.
Santa : Woh kaise?
Banta: Jab Gobar Santa hai, tabhi to Upla Banta hai.

01

Hindi

Kaale Badal chaaye hoye c te sante nu apni gf to thappar pe gaya...

Kyon?
.

.
Kyoki ohne gana gata
"Aaj din chadya tere rang varga"..

10

Punjabi |

Santa was experimenting with a cockroach.
He cut one of his legs and told it to walk.
The cockroach began moving slowly.
He continued till all legs were cut.
Then he told it to walk, but it didn't move.
So he wrote the inference:
If all the legs of a cockroach were cut,
it loses it's ability to hear.

10

English

Recommended for You »

  1. Can I Spell S_ccess Without U? Or C_te Or H_mble Or ..
  2. स्वयं को सबसे बुद्धिमान समझना किस बात की निशानी है ..
  3. She Got A Mudpack And Looked Great For Two Days Then ..
  4. Humari Saltanat Mai Zara Soch Ke Kadam Rakhna Humari Muhabbat Ki ..
  5. Honey Means Sweet Sweet Means Desire Desire Means Love Love Means Friend Friend Means ..
  6. Laugh Like U Hv Never Cried Play Like U Hv Never ..
  7. Teacher Told All Students In A Class To Write An Essay ..
  8. Quote On Self Respect I Don T Care If Anyone Doesn T Like Me Because I ..
  9. I Get So Emotional When You Are Not Around That Emotion ..
  10. Who Was The First Indian Woman To Fly Abroad Without Passport ..

Share & Let Everyone Read









Draw shape below and click submit button to send us your message:
आओ खेलें

लाल बूढ़क्की छू..

anagram quiz

About Us


Our logo expands to iOLdot - Ik Oankaar Lazeez Dimension of Texting which tries to reflect our ideology.

The purpose of this website is to develop a Dimension to Texting through the Aesthetics of Words by providing Unique, Decent, Pleasant, Pure, Gentle, Clean, Refined, Inoffensive Thought Provoking Wisdom Quotes, Funny Jokes, Shayari, Motivational SMS, Greetings, Wishes, Proverbs, Dohe, Love Messages & much more.. We also encourage you to be part of this journey & share your creative content with us. Play your flute here..



What's more


moderated-content-kids-safe

Moderated Content

Safe for people of all Age Groups including Children.
sms-api-always-win

API

Display SMS on your Website or Blog at Zero Cost.
rate-content

SMS Rating

Gives You Power to Rate Content.
« Stay In Touch »

Quality Improvement Initiative

Quality Improvement Program

On September 13, 2015 we took an initiative towards delivering high quality content. With every Lazeez SMS you will find two thumbs - one for upvote and one to downvote.

Sample thumb screenshot

You can cast your vote simply by clicking on the thumb icon.