Santa Was Experimenting With A Cockroach. He Cut One Of His Quotes

Santa was experimenting with a cockroach.
He cut one of his legs and told it to walk.
The cockroach began moving slowly.
He continued till all legs were cut.
Then he told it to walk, but it didn't move.
So he wrote the inference:
If all the legs of a cockroach were cut,
it loses it's ability to hear.

Hindi teacher asks Santa : Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain?
Santa : O G 7 prakaar ke -
1. Local kaal
2. STD kaal
3. ISD kaal
4. Missed kaal
5. Received kaal
6. Dialled kaal aur
7. Sat Sri Akal

Once in a crowded bus Santa ka paon ek ladke ke paon pe aa gaya.
Santa : Sorry.
Ladka: Shut up.
Kuch der baad ek ladki ka paon ladke ke paon pe aa gaya .
Ladki: Sorry.
Ladka: Its Ok.
Santa : Na meri sorry de spelling ghalt c..?

Satna: Ek bar mere upar se scooter nikal gaya,
par fir bhi mujhe kuch nahi hua.
Banta: Yeh to kuch bhi nahi.
Ek bar mere upar se aeroplane nikal gaya,
aur main fir bhi bach gaya.

Santa and Banta were playing chess.
Santa : Let's wrap up.
Banta: Yeah, anyways just your rook
and my knight are left..

Then Vishwanathan Anand comes there.
VA: Come, let's play chess.

Santa -Banta: No way, you will beat us.
VA: Ok.. You both can play as a team.
Santa -Banta: Still we will lose.
VA: Ok, i will play with left hand.
Santa -Banta: Yeah, then it's fine.

Obviously, Santa Banta lost the game and VA leaves.
Santa : It was shameful, he beat us even with left hand.
Banta: He fooled us.
Santa : How?
Banta: He must be left-handed.

Santa : oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa : oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena..

Santa to Doctor:
Mainu ik problem hai,
gall karde hoe mainu aadmi dikhaai ni sujhdaa.
Doctor: Aisa kab-kab hota hai?
Santa : Phone karte waqt .....