I Believe That If Life Gives You Lemons, You Should Make Quotes

I believe that if life gives you lemons,
you should make lemonade...
And try to find somebody
whose life has given them vodka,
and have a party.
- Ron White

The pessimist spoke mournfully to his friend :
"It is only to me that such misfortunes happen."
"What's the matter now?", inquired his friend .
The pessimist answered dolefully:
"Don't you see that it is raining..?"

Every takeoff is optional.
Every landing is mandatory.

A stranger to a child: Beta, itni chocolate khaoge to bimaar ho jaoge!
Bachcha: Mere dadaji 100 saal jiye thhe.....
Stranger: Vo chocolate khate thhe?
Bachcha: Nahi vo apne kaam se kaam rakhte thhe....

Short story.....
Two friends.....
See and Saw.....
One day see saw sea and
saw didn't see sea.
See saw sea and jumped in sea.
Saw didn't see sea but jumped in sea.
See saw saw in sea and
saw saw see in sea.
See saw both saw sea and
both saw and see were happy to see sea.
The End.....

If you love someone
don't keep in your heart
keep in your nails
because if you fail in love
don't break your heart
just cut the nails..

Money may not be everything, but it sure keeps the kids writing to parents!
One college kid wrote home,
"Dear folks, I've been worried sick, because I haven't heard from you.
Please send me a check so I'll know you're okay."