There Are Three Stages Of Man : He Believes In Santa Quotes

There are three stages of man :
He believes in Santa Claus;
he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus;
he is Santa Claus..

Commerce professor asks a student:
What is the most important source
of finance for starting business..?
Student: Father-in-law

A man: There is no word
as Impossible in my dictionary.
Santa : Abey to pehle hi
dekh kar khareedani chaahiye thi na.

I am on a Mission.
Mission to avoid you,
to forget you,
to get rid of you,
to not to talk or meet you,
in short - Mission Impossible..

Couple silent in bed.
Wife thinks:
Why is he not talking to me?
Is he thinking of another woman ?
Does he like someone else?
Is he seeing someone?
Don't I appeal to him anymore?
Are wrinkles showing on my face?
Is he trying to dump me?
Is he now finding me ugly?
Have I put on weight?
Does my make up repel him these days.
Is he upset with my nagging?
WHY IS HE UPSET?

Husband thinking: Damnit man, Dhoni se kuch nahi ho Sakta, aur yeh Gautam gambhir..

Ladki pataane ka tarika:
Chupke se uske peeche jaa kar use daraao.
Agar woh hasi to samjho pat gai..
Agar gussa hui to zor-zor se chillao,
Didi darr gayi..Didi darr gayi..

Policewala agar juice ke thele par
juice pee raha ho to
dekhne waala yahi sochta hai -
Free mein pee raha hoga..