Teacher: Santa , You need to improve your handwriting.
Santa : Sir, actually Banta needs improvement.
He only completes my homework.

00

English |

Santa jalebi bech raha tha magar keh raha tha:
Aaloo le lo..Aaloo..
Banta bola: Par yeh to jalebi hai.
Santa : Chup ho ja warna makhiaan aa jaaengi.

10

Hindi

Santa was reading a blank paper.

Banta: ye kya hai.

Santa : meri glfrnd ka luv leter hai.

Banta: magar ye to khali hai. Santa : ajkal hum bat nahi karte.

10

Hindi

Santa underwear lene gaya.
Dukaandaar ne usko Rs. 500 ka underwear dikhaya.
Santa : Roz pehn-ne wala de,
party wear nahi chaahiye.

20

Hindi

Santa : Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it..?
Banta: Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open..?

00

English |

Santa was experimenting with a cockroach.
He cut one of his legs and told it to walk.
The cockroach began moving slowly.
He continued till all legs were cut.
Then he told it to walk, but it didn't move.
So he wrote the inference:
If all the legs of a cockroach were cut,
it loses it's ability to hear.

10

English

The bank sends santa a mail - Your payments are outstanding.
santa replies - Thanks for the compliment.

00

English |

10 people beating a sardaar,
but he was laughing..
A man asked,
"Why are you laughing?"
Sardaar: Main Joginder hun,
yeh log mujhe Parminder samajh ke maar rahe hain!!

00

Hindi

When TITANIC was drowning, an Italian asks Santa ,
"How far is land?"
Santa :"4 kms."
Italian jumps into sea and asks,
"Which direction?"
Santa : "DOWNWARDS..!"

00

English

3 chor Billu, Sonu aur Santa
Police se chhup ke 3 boriyon me ghus gaye.
Police wala aaya, usne pehli bori mein laat maari.
Billu: BOW-BOW.
Police wala: Kutta hai.
Dusri bori mein laat maari.
Sonu: MIAUU.
Police wala: Billi hai.

Teesri bori mein laat mari.
Koi aawaz nahi aayi.
Fir mari.. Koi awaz nahi..
20-25 laat mari to andar se Santa chillaaya:
Abe metric fail, AALOO kabhi bolta hai kya..

00

Hindi |

A kid asked Santa : Are you Punjabi?
Santa (proudly) : Yes.
Santa : But how do you know?
Kid : You are wearing a Kada.
Santa asks the kid : Are you Punjabi too?
Kid : Yes.
Santa : Do you drink Lassi daily?
Kid : No
Santa : Sorry, but then you are not a Punjabi.
Kid : Oh, I am Haryanvi.
Santa : Do you eat Ghee daily?
Kid : Yes
Santa (happily) : Yes, then you are Haryanvi..

00

English |

Satna: Ek bar mere upar se scooter nikal gaya,
par fir bhi mujhe kuch nahi hua.
Banta: Yeh to kuch bhi nahi.
Ek bar mere upar se aeroplane nikal gaya,
aur main fir bhi bach gaya.

- Hemant Singh
30

Hindi |

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