31Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs..?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
English |
![jokes.jpg jokes.jpg](/sms/new/img/jokes.jpg)
15A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane.
English |
01A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martin us.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies,
"If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"Details:
Most words that end in "us" are pluralized by changing the "us" to "i"
(e.g. cactus - cacti, genius - genii, Stimulus - stimuli) and most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of "martini" as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a "martinus".
English |
70Anaath Ashram Manager to Bania:
- Hemant Singh
Sethji, aap hamare anaath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Funny Bania: Mein anaath ashram mein apne Char bachhe bhej sakta hu.
Hindi |
02Father to son: Whenever i beat you,
you don't get annoyed, how you control your anger..?
Son: I start cleaning the toilet seat with your toothbrush.
English |
72Saddam(Narak mein): Yamraaj ji, mujhe pakistan baat karni hai.
Yamraaj: Karlo.
After the call..
Saddam: Kitne rupae hue..?
Yamraaj: Narak to narak calls free hain.
Hindi
00A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor.
English |
121A stranger to a child: Beta, itni chocolate khaoge to bimaar ho jaoge!
- Vidhi
Bachcha: Mere dadaji 100 saal jiye thhe.....
Stranger: Vo chocolate khate thhe?
Bachcha: Nahi vo apne kaam se kaam rakhte thhe....
Hindi |
21A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.
A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes , tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.
At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"
English |
113Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?
Banta: Frog.
Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?
Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..
Punjabi
4830Ladki ek aisi paheli hai,
kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai,
kharchaa karo to bole- Darling, I love u..
na karo to bole- Bhaiya, who r u..?
Hindi
83Engg. Student: Sir humne aisi cheez banayi hai jisse hum
- Vikas Umrao
deewar ke us paar bhi dekh sakte hain.....
Sir: Wow, fantastic! Kya hai woh?
Student:
Suraakh.......
Hindi |
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