I Wondered Why The Baseball Was Getting Bigger. Then It Hit Quotes

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

If each day is a gift,
I would like to know where I can return mondays..

Three signs that a person is working in Coporate:
1. Stressed
2. Depressed
3. Still Well Dressed..

Why India is not yet developed?
Though population is 100 crore?
Because 7.9 crore are retired,
30 crore in state government jobs,
17 crore in central government jobs
(Both don't work efficiently).
1.1 crore IT professional
(They don't work for India).
25 crore in school,
2 crore under 5 years,
15 crore unemployed,
1.2 crore you can find anytime in hospitals.
Statistics say 79,99,997 people are in jail.
Rest two are you and me.
You are busy with your mobile .
How can i handle India alone..?

A lady asks a pandit: Ghar ki sukh-shanti ke liye kaun sa vrat rakhun..?
Padit: Moun Vrat..

Ek chota bachha road par potty kar raha tha.
Police ne use pakad liya.
Jab use le jaane lage to bachha bola,
"O Kanoon k rakhwalo, saboot to utha lo."

A man gave advt. in matrimonial column:
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got several replies saying:
"MERI LE JAA"