LKG Ke Kid Ka Paper Me Zero Aaya. Angry Father: What Quotes

Biwi: Mujhe samajh nahi aata paisae kahan rakhun,
jahan chupati hun humaara beta chura leta hai.
Husband : Uski books mein chipa do, yeh kabhi hath nahi lagata..

Ravan ko court laya gaya aur kaha gita pe haath rakho.
Ravan chillaya, Sita pe haath rakha to itna bawaal ho gaya
ab gita pe nahi rakhoonga.

A very wealthy old man was dying and summoned his lawyer, his Priest, and his Doctor.
As his final and last wish, he gave each 2,50,000 in cash. He said he wanted to prove that you "could" take it with you when you die. He requested that each one of them throw the cash in his grave just before they shoveled the dirt in.

A few days later at the funeral the Priest walked up to the grave after the Eulogy and with tears in his eyes , tossed the money into the grave. Shortly after, the Doctor also did the same. Last the lawyer came and tossed in an envelope.

At the family gathering, or wake if you will, the Priest walked up to the Doctor and the lawyer and said, "I must confess, I kept out 25,000 of his money for the orphanage". With that the Doctor also confided that he too kept out 50,000 for the new Medical Clinic for the poor. The lawyer then exclaimed, "Shame, shame on you both!, I gave him a check for the entire amount!"

A man goes skydiving.
After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute
but nothing happens. He tries everything but can't get it open.

Just then another man flies by him, going UP.
The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"

Lucknow me 2 bache ladh rahe the.
1st : Dekhiye ager aap humari baat nahi manenge
to hum aapki walida mohtarma ki shaan me
gustakhana Kalimat pesh kar denge.
2nd: Huzur phir hum bhi aapke
rukhsaar mubarak pe aisa tamacha raseed karenge ki
gaal mubarak gulab ki maanind chamak uthega.